Tom Ford "Private Blend Noir de Noir" ***

The most happening 1/20th of a mile in San Francisco right now is 18th Street running from Guerrero to Dolores Park. It’s the closest thing to Williamsburg we have here in the City. On that one short block you’ve got Tartine, Delphina, Bi-Right Market, and now Bi-Right has opened an ice-cream parlor on the northeast corner of 18th and Dolores. Hipster kids lining up out the door all day and all night, hipster dogs, tied up outside, waiting to get to frolic off-leash at the park. Their top-selling flavor by far: salted caramel. The immediate up-front little-kid satisfaction of the burned sugar, followed by the very grown-up slap of the salt at the end. To die!

Grown-up sweet sensation—that’s the theme of Tom Ford’s “Private Blend Noir de Noir,” which I actually think should be named “Brun de Brun,” since everything in it smells like a happy brown thing to me.

Out of the bottle, moderately strong saturation. The scent notes call it a chypre—okay, fine, I won’t argue. But most chypres, in my experience, are about contrasting, almost warring smells—the citrus getting a rise out of the florals while the oakmoss ties them both to the ground. Instead, I immediately experience NdN as fully shaped and stable with no sharp edges—harmonious rather than atonal, a major rather than a minor chord: dark caramel, vanilla, roses, freshly-cut blond tobacco leaf, yummy woods, rum. If there’s a citrus in there, I don’t find it. And then, as promised, black truffles over the top, and a curlicue of saffron. After 45 minutes and for the next 4-5 hours, the gooey center of a vanilla-saffron rum ball.

Attention all aspiring confectioners! Translate this smell into a bonbon, open shop on 18th Street, and your success is assured! Actually, it is the sweetness that keeps this most excellent masculine from earning four stars from me. I am extremely fussy about smelling like food, especially fruity and sugary smells. But make no mistake, this is a scent to wear when you want someone to taste you. I’ve got another name for NdN: “Man Candy.”

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