This credit & commentary section runs from newest posts to oldest, and is continually being updated.
Never To Busy To Be Beautiful "Lady Boy" (3/11/10): All three of these images were copied from a book of National Geographic pictures and sent to me. The first one is entitled "Transvestite," the subject is Thai, and the photographer was Jodi Cobb, taken in 1996. The second was taken by Adam Warwick and is of a young Ainu woman in 1922. My friend shares this helpful tidbit: Ainu women were tattooed with mustaches, although the practice was banned in 1871, the Ainu rejected this prohibition. The last woman bearing these traditional markings died in 1998. Read much more here. The final image was taken by William von Gloeden of a young Sicilian lad some time in the 1920s.
Frapin "Caravelle Epicee" (3/8/10): Big problem for this posting: which of the multitudes of beautiful images of Juanito to post? Most are taken from his various movies, natch. The moody one of him in a hat found here. The, uh, not moody one of him shirtless (oh, my!!) found here.
Tom Ford "Private Blend Moss Breches" (3/1/10): Lead image was taken by Sophia Wallace.
Check out her website for many more fantastic images:
Jared Leto in mascara image found here. Drag king photo found here. The final photo was taken by Catherine Opie. (Strangely enough, she doesn't seem to have own website- here's the link to her faculty page at UCLA.)
Bvlgari "Blv II" (2/25/10): First picture of hair pulling found here, the second, here, the third here. The pix of the hair on fire is super cool-- It's by Jayan Saputra, and I found it here.
Michael Kors "For Women" (2/15/10): Elizabeth Taylor as Martha found here, and as Maggie, here. Catherine Deneuve in Belle De Jour here, and Helmut Newton took the other shot. I found it here. May I just say right now, I am not now and have never been a fan of blondes, but Ms. Deneuve is just so smokin' hot, there ought to be a law. Or an international treaty. Something. Her hotness is a matter of national security. Man!
Tom Ford "White Patchouli" (2/1/10): The pix of Queen Badu can be found everywhere. If you don't remember her, maybe her hair done up in her trademark headwrap will spark your memory. But never fear-- she doesn't need hair to be fierce:
Wow.
Technicolor dream swirl found at MergingSpirit.com. Patchouli found here. The LCN WIKY To "Have More Interesting Looking Models" Award image is from an old United Colors of Benniton's ad, natch. I mean, say what you will about UCoB, and believe me, I will, at least there are some truly original faces in their ads.
The bun-buffing car wash I found here. Tom and his mirthless band of tan, platinum blond enforcer robots seem to be running their own corrections facility somewhere in Tom's fevered imagination, as witnessed here:
Both Ends of a Carrot... (1/28/10): Our lovely Ferry Building at night-- I found the photo here. The day interior, here. I took the pix of the bunch of red carrots. The other groovy multi-color carrot pix I got here. The image of the beautiful flask I got from the Abdul Samad Al Qurashi website, and the other two images from the Brooklyn Bunny website. (I have to say, all snark aside, transmissions of Roebling are remarkably soothing.)
This posting came together organically (pardon the pun...) Had I to do all over again I might well have framed this posting in terms of what Scotty the Blue Bunny might like to smell. I never saw him perform when I was living in Brooklyn (sadly), but I have a feeling he would be just my cup of tea...
Apothia "If" (1/25/10): I can't be 100% positive, but I believe all of the Mad Men pix are stills from the official website, several times removed, of course. The painting is "The Italian Woman" ("L'Italiana") by Picasso.
House of Balenciaga (1/14/10): I couldn't trace back any of the older images to their original sources-- I got them all from secondary sources, found here, here, here, and here. There *may* be some confusion on my part-- the second pix might be a Dior...? Um... I don't really care. I just want to BE her. I apologize-- the pix of the cone dress, I found it fair and square several months ago. Now due to the shifting sands of the interwebs, the link is dead. Sorry. Portrait of Mister Himself found here.
If you didn't know about it, there's a crazy online rivalry between Ginger and Mary Ann-- whom you "choose" is supposed to say something deep about you. I guess it's like the whole Angelina/Jennifer thing of today. I find the whole thing worthy of the time it takes me to wait in line at the check-out counter. If you're actually bringing that stuff home with you and dwelling on it...? Try doing some volunteer work.
Robert Piguet "Bandit" (1/11/10): Unbroken "Bandit" bottle ad found at Fragrantica.com; broken one at the PerfumeShrine. "Well of Loneliness" cover found here. The last image is a drawing entitled "The Lotus Eaters" by ChangeWeaver and I found it here.
Parfums DelRae "Debut" (1/7/10): Yellow carnation; lily of the valley; jasmine; wisteria; lilac. The sublime Ms. Leontyne Price. I did not attend the wedding pictured here, but it was just so adorable, I couldn't resist. (Although it's tagged "dsjphoto.com," I found it at http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic389137-27-1.aspx .) Those old "Charlie" ads just take me all the way back...
Miller et Bertaux "A Quiet Morning" (1/4/10): The first two images are from Jasmine's art installation that can be found at www.jasminevalandani.com. The other two of men praying the Ganges were found here at www.ariana-hariom.blogspot.com and at www.maryellenmark.com.
CB I Hate Perfume "Black March Water" (12/21/09): Lead image is from an Hermès ad--lovely, neh? The copy in English is: "Winter-- at last!!" Almost beautiful enough to make me believe...
CB photo found here from a hip little boutique up in Portland Oregon named LeTrainBleu. Check out their website-it looks kinda fabulous! Dirt found here. Crocus found on SillyWizard's MySpace page here.
Lead image taken from Beyoncé's album, of course. May I just use this opportunity to put up a completely gratuitous necessary shot of Ms. B.
Image of Antony found here. I think I'll take the opportunity to put up an equally necessary image of her. Image found here, and it looks like you can download the MP3 of her "Crazy in Love" cover there, too.
Silly Juicy Couture ad art can be found just about anywhere, but in my search, I think I found the thing that incapsulated everything I hate about JC all in one place: It's the "Juicy Couture Barbie Gift Set," retailing for $99, and crafted on the images of the "celebrity founders," Pamela and Gela. Those b*tches have their own Barbies now. Kill me.
David Yurman (12/14/09): Most of these images were stills taken directly from the AMC website or from their promo campaigns. The one photo that is not like the others is the image of actress January Jones, of course, her hair all frazzled, kissing a green sucker. It was the very last image I found for this piece-- I wasn't even looking for it-- it just landed in my lap-- I swear!! What I might have done if she was kissing a cherry sucker, I just can't say. I found it here.
And, having spent wasted several way too many hours trolling for Mad Men images, I can tell you that the bulk of the send-up stuff really isn't that smart or funny. That show is screaming out for excellent satire. I did like this one, though, found here:
Clive Christian "No.1" (12/10/09): I love the lead image, which was sent to me by my dear friend, Jasmine, and is a poster for an avant-garde art show in Mexico City. Scent-free zone poster found here. So, I love Camryn Mannheim-- I don't care who knows it. Runway diva-- yeah!!
And did y'all catch the Calvin Klein Ralph Lauren scandal where this attractive young lady pictured here got airbrushed into some crazed anorexic's wet-dream oblivion so that her SKULL IS WIDER THAN HER PELVIS!!!!
Then, when Firedoglake.com called them out for it, RL
1) tried to intimidate FDL into taking the image down (FDL's response-- Suck it, RL-- we're hosted in Canada. Pow!!)
2) fired the lovely Ms. Hamilton for being "too fat."
Ralph, congratulations- you have inspired a new LCN Award. I have, on several occasions, handed out the LCN Burger award to designers that use models that are too skinny. You used a lovely young woman who looked healthy and beautiful and carved her into a freak. You are now the proud recipient of the first-time-ever (pray to god let it be the last) LCN "Ralph Lauren: Take This Burger and Shove It Up Your *ss" Award. Bon appétit.
Perfume for the "Special People" in your life (12/3/09): Lead image is an ad for Seekingarrangement.com found here. Have I mentioned lately that every morning I wake up and kiss the ground because Bing is in the world? Image of cruel Mistress Anna found here. Massage image found here. City by the Bay Heart image found here.
Presents for People who HATE Perfume: (11/30/09): Lead image found here. Mr. Brosius's image found here. Ms. Wintour's image found here. Mr. Hulot's Vacation poster found here. Dandelion here. "I Hate Chanel No. 5" lifted from perfumeheretic.zarathud.org. With a rant worth reading, BTW... Stop sign found here.
Presents for People who like Perfume (11/27/09): Most everything this time is taken directly from fashion ads. The crops of Xmas bling were taken by Coppi Barbieri, and featured in last year's NYT Style Magazine. Baudelaire graphic credited to here. Person holding hir nose found here.
Hermès “Eau d’Hermès” (11/23/09): Lead image found here. Second image of Justin found here. Image of pepper-- if you haven't seen this website yet, do yourself a favor. Nature is filled with so many wondrous things!!! And as for that Time Out poll that listed JB as the sexiest person in NYC? Check that out too. (Not safe for viewing at work.)
CB I Hate Perfume "Musk Reinvention Absolute" (11/19/09): I got the two bottle images from their respective websites. The Brokeback boys I got from here. (I could watch the first hour of that movie on a continuous loop for the rest of my life.) Lots of sophomoric spoof of "Brokeback" on the Interwebs, but I'm rather fond of the notion of Brokeback Sims.
According to wikipedia, in the movie “Daria,” Jane says, in reference to Warhol's movie "Sleep": “Andy Warhol filmed eight hours of a guy sleeping, and people thought it was brilliant.” Daria replies, “These people felt different after they got into twelve-step programs.”
I got the still from "Bl*wj*b" here. If you haven't checked out the 16-second version, here's another chance-- you really must try.
CB I Hate Perfume "Musk Reinvention Absolute" (11/16/09): Lead image: From Andy Warhol's movie "Sleep" found here. First male nude found here. Second: A Horst P. Horst portrait, naturellement, found here.
Tom Ford "Black Orchid" (11/10/09): Lead image: Here. Champagne pedi, here. Menage, here.
Trying to put together an assemblage of images of partying for a Tom Ford perfume-- there was an embarrassment of riches to chose from. One of the very many things I love about Tom Ford is how spoof-ready he is. Here's a good one: I got it from here.
As for Sister Sharon Stone, you know, surprisingly, considering the saturation of that scene from "Basic Instinct" in the collective memory, there aren't any truly good shots of it on the Internets machine. Again, lots of sophmoric spoofs, and LOTS of murky pix obviously shot by photographing a video freeze-frame of what can be seen of her uncrossing her legs. Perhaps the best tribute to the importance of that scene is another image from the same movie-- the reaction shot found here:
Amouage "Reflection" (11/5/09): The lead image is the chorus of the Moscow Ballet company. Maria Tallchief was so beautiful and fascinating. You can read more about her here. I found the image of her as the Swan in Swan Lake here. And finally, the shuffleboard image I found here. Just a side-note: I never knew this-- I thought that shuffleboard was a relaxing, laid-back retired gentle-person's dalliance. No. Way. Those seniors are serious about their shuffleboard, and if you cross them, they will cut you. Don't believe me? Check out their raft of terms and rules here.
coordinated, but I'm thrilled that it turned out that way. The lead image is a yantra, a Tantric diagram of the divine. I found it here. The image of Shakti I found here.
Parfums DelRae "Mythique" (11/2/09): Diane de Poitiers caused quite the
stir in her day, I gather. Her ability to keep Henry II happy gave her influence that often even eclipsed the queen. The painters of the day seemed fascinated by her, too. We have a hefty handful of nude portraits of her-- I guess she sat starkers for about anyone. (Just bing her-- you'll see what I mean.) 
I feel like she deserves a posthumous LCN Tom Ford "Treating the World Like It Was Made For Grown-ups" Award, oh you wicked French royal mistress, you! (Actually, it seems to me Tom's award ought to be named after her, since she was so far ahead of her time. But I fear no one will get the reference.)
White shirt found here.
stir in her day, I gather. Her ability to keep Henry II happy gave her influence that often even eclipsed the queen. The painters of the day seemed fascinated by her, too. We have a hefty handful of nude portraits of her-- I guess she sat starkers for about anyone. (Just bing her-- you'll see what I mean.) I feel like she deserves a posthumous LCN Tom Ford "Treating the World Like It Was Made For Grown-ups" Award, oh you wicked French royal mistress, you! (Actually, it seems to me Tom's award ought to be named after her, since she was so far ahead of her time. But I fear no one will get the reference.)
White shirt found here.
Diane de Poitiers is still looming large in the public consciousness, I gather, from the most excellent send-up I just found here. Diane, your mad sex appeal continues to expand through time AND space!!
Satellite "Padparadscha" (10/28/09): It wasn't my intention that this post would be so color-
coordinated, but I'm thrilled that it turned out that way. The lead image is a yantra, a Tantric diagram of the divine. I found it here. The image of Shakti I found here. The image of Maude just makes me ever-so happy. I found it here. There was a Harold, too. The set is sold, but we have a picture of what the two of them look like together.
Ormonde Jayne "Ormonde Woman" (10/25/09): Wet leaves: by David Hornsby. Tree rings: here. Fire: here. Violets: here. Autumnal tree: here.
Thierry Mugler "Angel" (10/21/09):
Lead image: "I hope I can find self-love in this bottle."
The "Hazard" signs are from a website dedicated to extolling the dangers of "Angel." (See here.) So I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about the stuff.
I wrote about Brothers Victor & Rolf first, so they got the WIKY To? award named after them for silly clothing. But Mugler could have easily gotten there first.
Both V&R and Mugler make so much coin bottling Satan's mouthwash and calling it perfume that neither needs to make clothes that human beings wear. So you can just IMAGINE how happy I was to find this:
Congratulations, Thierry! You turned a LCN Victor & Rolf WIKY To? award for Insultingly Unwearable Clothing for Women award into a new award we'll name after you: the LCN Thierry Mugler Equal Opportunity Award for Designing Clothing that Neither Sex Any Human Can Sit Down In. Yay for you!!
To celebrate, I am going to post this Thierry Mugler number from 10 years ago, apropos of nothing, but because I think it's hot:
Victor & Rolf "Flowerbomb" (10/17/09):
I love the lead image. I love the spoof of it even more. You can actually own it-- I found here. It's by an artist named Gil Gonzalez, and all clues point to the prospect that he's a starving Brooklyn artist hipster. Didn't run across him while I lived there...
And those hideous hell flowers? Part of the legit V&R "Flowerbomb" campaign. So there IS some truth in advertising after all...
V&R definitely require a LCN WIKY To? ("Would It Kill You To?") award. Here are a couple of guys who take it upon themselves to dress like this:
Then, they have the audacity to dress their models up like this:
For this, they earn the first-ever LCN Victor & Rolf WIKY To? award, as in Would It Kill You To Make Clothes That Actual Human Women Would Actually Wear? award.
Your alien clone moms would be so proud...
Bella Bellissima "Perfect Night" (10/14/09): This was fun on so many levels. First off, not that I actually saw this ad run on t.v.-- I only heard about the hype surrounding it and then saw it online like 200 million other people.
When I wrote this piece, I thought it was a Burger King Whopper that had Ms. Hilton taking a bubble bath on top of a Bentley, and the truly hilarious thing is, that's what lots of other people remembered as well!! Search "Paris Hilton burger car" or any other comparable key words, and you get to dozens of websites that let you believe she was doing a Burger King ad. Nice going, Carl's Jr.!! There has to be an advertising term for a campaign that so effectively saturates the public's consciousness, but doesn't....quite....bring your brand name along with it.
Next up, time for awards! Paris, you and the whole team at Carl's Jr. clearly deserve a Tom Ford "Making the World a Teensey Bit More R-Rated Everyday" award-- never stop!
Finally, normally this would be the time to award an LCN "Burger" award to you, Paris, because, well, you're too skinny. But the beautiful thing it, you already appear in this ad... eating a burger!! You mock your own way-too-skinny body image, along with your bad-girl image, by eating something on t.v. that you clearly never eat-- to sell something you would clearly never buy. It's, like, meta!!
Paris, I misunderestimated you. For your work in the Carl's Jr. "The Combination of Car Washes and Burgers Make Me Lose All Control!!!!" campaign, I award you the first-ever LCN "Paris Hilton Self-Referential Parody in Advertising" award.
Eat up, P. You've earned it.
The "Hazard" signs are from a website dedicated to extolling the dangers of "Angel." (See here.) So I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about the stuff.
I wrote about Brothers Victor & Rolf first, so they got the WIKY To? award named after them for silly clothing. But Mugler could have easily gotten there first.Both V&R and Mugler make so much coin bottling Satan's mouthwash and calling it perfume that neither needs to make clothes that human beings wear. So you can just IMAGINE how happy I was to find this:
To celebrate, I am going to post this Thierry Mugler number from 10 years ago, apropos of nothing, but because I think it's hot:
Victor & Rolf "Flowerbomb" (10/17/09):
I love the lead image. I love the spoof of it even more. You can actually own it-- I found here. It's by an artist named Gil Gonzalez, and all clues point to the prospect that he's a starving Brooklyn artist hipster. Didn't run across him while I lived there...And those hideous hell flowers? Part of the legit V&R "Flowerbomb" campaign. So there IS some truth in advertising after all...
V&R definitely require a LCN WIKY To? ("Would It Kill You To?") award. Here are a couple of guys who take it upon themselves to dress like this:
Then, they have the audacity to dress their models up like this:
Bella Bellissima "Perfect Night" (10/14/09): This was fun on so many levels. First off, not that I actually saw this ad run on t.v.-- I only heard about the hype surrounding it and then saw it online like 200 million other people.
When I wrote this piece, I thought it was a Burger King Whopper that had Ms. Hilton taking a bubble bath on top of a Bentley, and the truly hilarious thing is, that's what lots of other people remembered as well!! Search "Paris Hilton burger car" or any other comparable key words, and you get to dozens of websites that let you believe she was doing a Burger King ad. Nice going, Carl's Jr.!! There has to be an advertising term for a campaign that so effectively saturates the public's consciousness, but doesn't....quite....bring your brand name along with it.
Next up, time for awards! Paris, you and the whole team at Carl's Jr. clearly deserve a Tom Ford "Making the World a Teensey Bit More R-Rated Everyday" award-- never stop!
Finally, normally this would be the time to award an LCN "Burger" award to you, Paris, because, well, you're too skinny. But the beautiful thing it, you already appear in this ad... eating a burger!! You mock your own way-too-skinny body image, along with your bad-girl image, by eating something on t.v. that you clearly never eat-- to sell something you would clearly never buy. It's, like, meta!!
Paris, I misunderestimated you. For your work in the Carl's Jr. "The Combination of Car Washes and Burgers Make Me Lose All Control!!!!" campaign, I award you the first-ever LCN "Paris Hilton Self-Referential Parody in Advertising" award.
Eat up, P. You've earned it.
L'Artisan "Dzing!" (10/12/09): Glam shot of Ms. Giacobetti I found at http://feelgoodstyle.com/files/2009/03/picture-4.png. Her website isn't up yet ("Bientôt" it says-- "Soon.")
This is what I really wanted to use, but I thought better of it:
This is what I really wanted to use, but I thought better of it:
Thank you, PETA, for a silly visual reference to S&M-lite to protest the maltreatment of circus animals! You win a LCN "Tom Ford" award for treating the world like it's made by and for adults.
Parfums DelRae "Amoureuse" (10/11/09): I took this lead photo several years ago-- to be honest, I can't tell if those are Victorian Box trees in front of the Seven Sisters, or boxwood trees. Oops! They look a lot alike! Fortunately, the good people at the Friends of the Urban Forest have a more authentic (if less aesthetically pleasing) pix here. I got the close-up from here.
Tom Ford "Private Blend Noir de Noir" (10/11/09): Let me start by saying that I wrote this review before I found the image to go along with it. When I put the two together, a bunch of the things I wrote now had more than one meaning. Ha!
This particular image was deemed too hot for print and bus ads-- Imagine! However, it is rather tame by the standards set for the campaign as a whole. (See here and here. Also, there's a female-equivalent of this ad that did make the mainstream ad buys-- Boy, if you ever needed proof that there's a double standard in this world... check it out here. Warning-- unsafe at work at any speed.) This, of course, makes everyone run home and checkout the ads on the Internets machine. Tom Ford, Naughty Media Genius!
Word is, he did his own ass work for this shoot. For that, and for all the rest of the campaign, I am naming an award after him, the "Tom Ford Treating Other Adults Like Adults Award," honoring ad campaigns that stubbornly refuse to treat the whole world like it's a fourth-grade class room. Bravo!
Tom is also the first-ever awardee of the the "It's OK to be Gay" award, given to excellence in queering the world, one fashion image at a time.
However, Tom, you don't get off that easy. I'll devote more to your ad work at another time, but you also are the recipient of two LCN "WIKY To?"
awards ("Would It Kill You To?")
As in, WIKY To... have more interesting looking models? All the women look exactly the same-- cookie-cutter cut outs. Boo!
And WIKY TO... offer them some food? I notice all your male models look fully fed. You get a LCN "Buy the Models a Burger" award, and you don't want that. Try harder next time, Tom.
Dawn Spencer Hurlitz "Prince" (10/11/09): Close-up from Toulouse-Lautrec's "At the Moulin Rouge; Art Institute of Chicago.
Parfums DelRae "Bois de Paradis" (10/11/09): From Flickr http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3317/3506837488_78e8f28539.jpg
People of the Labyrinths "Luctor et Emergo" (10/6/09): Lead image: Cy Twombly's untitled 1961 masterpiece. I could look at it all day. And doesn't it make you think of almonds and cherries? Cherry Chapstick image: Not sure if this was a real Chapstick ad, or just a riff from the Kate Perry song "I kissed a girl." Either way, this is a much better shot. Bottom image: If this story is to be believed, a woman in France (an artist herself) was so overtaken by this Twombly, that she kissed it, leaving behind the lipstick print. Upon leaving the police station, she said "This red stain is a testimony to this moment, to the power of art." I think it adds quite a bit, neh?
Parfums DelRae "Eau Illuminee" (9/29/09): I used a shot from the iconic 1993 Vanity Fair spread, obviously. Herb Ritts was the photographer.
Parfums DelRae "Emotionnelle" (9/29/09): I cribbed this from a website devoted to the "art of Thai melon carving." Who knew? This stuff is fabulous-- you should check it out!
Versace "Versace EDP" (9/27/09): Michelle Damon, wife of Johnny Damon. I won't go into how I found this image, but it can be traced back to http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/hottest-sports-wives-pictures-kobe-bryant.htm.
Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely" (9/27/09): First let me say, I do love SJP. And I know that images on the Internets shouldn't be copied without credits. But I'm giving free advertising to the SJP empire-- I think I've done enough. (BTW @ SJP-- Fashion IS a luxury. Wake up.) Finally, I came this close to not putting any images of Herself up at all, but a pix of a big, juicy burger. Honey, you need to eat.
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